When I was in school, from the earliest years, I felt out of place and very confused as to how to fit in. I had been told to be kind, honest, and follow the rules. I did all of those things, and not only did most children not appreciate or want my company, neither did many adults. It seemed that no matter what I tried, I would get corrected, ridiculed, or shunned. Very few people felt moved to help me. Whatever they saw in me, they expected that I had the ability to figure it out on my own. I should not need help of any kind.

Some of my earliest memories are of me watching others as though I was an alien. I didn’t understand social interactions, and I needed to observe in order to gain the knowledge I lacked. My brother was very upset by this. He was a doer, not a watcher. He wanted me to leave my seat on the couch and to go explore the world with him. He didn’t actually want me to participate very much, though. Really, he just wanted the company, which was fine sometimes. We are more than six years apart. Often, I was just glad to be included. But for the most part, if I was going to have so little to do, I’d rather be left to my own thoughts and observations on the couch. If I was going to just observe anyway, why drag me outside where there was cold or mosquitoes? Why make me so uncomfortable?

The way people think, how they process their surroundings, the things that happen, the information they take in, is a hugely diverse range. And though society is finally starting to talk about neurodiversity, not very many people really understand how to recognize the differences in productive ways.

From one Neurodivergent human: We are not crazy. Please listen as though we might know what we are talking about. Attention to detail is a good thing.

I have three amazing, now adult, children. I had no idea about the more expansive truths of Autism and ADHD, let alone the fact that my kids and I are loaded with both. I was so miseducated on what to look for and how to help. The struggles we had were many, and most were totally unnecessary if we’d had the proper help and training. But even now that I understand my own neurodiversity so much better, I still find being a parent an intense combination of wonderful and awful.